Let’s start by talking about why you’re reading this on a new site.
A few days ago, a couple of folks let me know that they weren’t able to access my PostHope journal or calendar any longer. I reached out to their support email. Instead of getting a response, the entire site was then unceremoniously shut down.
It’s frustrating to lose the few journals I’d posted so far, and to have to spread another site around for people to follow. I also lost the treatment calendar and ride signups as well, but fortunately I had copied all of those down elsewhere. I’m going to see if some of those functions can be implemented here. I may also try and restore the previous journal posts, but I’m not sure I have drafts of them all.
Regardless, we carry on! Thanks for following along despite these issues!
This Week
This week was my first full week of treatments. That meant riding to Winnipeg every day for radiation, as well as continuing the chemo pills twice a day. I’ve decided that Fun Socks are one way that I’m going to get through this, so I supplemented the few pairs I have by quickly ordering some Animal Crossing and Legend of Zelda-themed socks.
The variety of volunteer drivers (including my lovely wife) have helped greatly to deal with the monotony of the drive. The side effects of the treatment have been pretty manageable so far, though Thursday was a low point. I’m feeling much better as I write this, but I’m told next week is when to expect the side effects to ramp up further.
Recently, I’ve also had to confront a lifelong irrational fear: that people are counting how often I go to the bathroom, and are quietly judging me for it. (Listen, I’ve never claimed to be a secure, self-confident person). Well, the thing about having colorectal cancer is — without getting too graphic — your tummy’s usual urges and signals are different, and more frequent. And I’ve found I cannot just ignore these signals. So, it’s off to the bathroom I go, more often than usual.
My daughter mentioned it recently (“Dad goes to the bathroom like a million times a day now”) and the old anxiety reared up, but, you know? This is just how it is now. I can’t not go, so I’m working on accepting and owning this thing about me. I mention this to highlight the…less obvious hurdles that come with a diagnosis and treatment such as mine. And, that everybody’s going to deal with cancer in a bit of a different way!
Looking Ahead
I got the long weekend off from treatments (yay) but tomorrow it’s back in the saddle to Winnipeg. 7/25 radiations, 56/200 chemotherapy pills. As the kids who make YouTube trick shot videos say, “let’s goooo”