Let’s Catch Up

Treatment Progress Check: As I write this I’m on Day 22 of a 21-day cycle. Currently I have completed 2 out of 5 cycles. At this moment I’m on the ‘medication break’ portion of my cycle, and actually I get a few extra days of no meds because I had my next treatment postponed until this coming Tuesday. Aside from one or two symptoms of a personal nature I’m feeling pretty normal these days — feet don’t really hurt, and I can have ice cream for the moment. Which I did today 🙂

Let’s start with the elephant in the room — yes, I missed last week’s update. It turns out that if I don’t sit down to write on the weekend, I will not have the time or brain-space to do it during the week, not really. So please rest assured that it was not because my symptoms had taken a sudden turn for the worse! It was actually that things were pretty good and I wasn’t sure what to write about.

There was one thing to write about, and then another one cropped up yesterday, so let’s talk about those things!

Some time ago I wrote about trying to thank my pills because I resented taking them so much. I was trying to turn my attitude around and see the good in what they were doing. Well, that worked for a while, and then it slowly started to feel rote. A friend of my wife’s heard about this and made a new suggestion; when Lori conveyed it to me, I got emotional and said “yes, that’s it, let’s try that.”

The suggestion was this: with each pill, name somebody that I’m taking it for. “This one is for Cassidy”, so that I can stay in her life longer. “This one is for Avery,” same thing. And so on. Each pill gets a new focus on the reason I’m taking them, and I have to say, even though it came late in my treatment cycle it felt really effective and I’m going to start again on Tuesday.

The only minor issue was running out of ideas on the sixth pill, so the first time I tried this exercise, I dedicated that pill to my enemies. I figured, surviving out of spite is a good reason too. After all, living well is the best revenge!

(Editor’s note: I am genuinely unaware of having any real enemies)

Now let’s talk about being a flag bearer at the Winnipeg Blue Bombers game!

We drove to Winnipeg and took a shuttle bus to the stadium. I was impressed by the place, having never even been near it. I was told to take the Media entrance, and we confused some security personnel because we were the first ones there. After some walkie-talkie calls and a bit of “stand here, no wait, over here” they got it sorted and Lori headed off to find her own seats as the other flag bearers and our minder arrived. There were about 18 of us, mostly women. We were gathered and ushered down into the bowels of the building, past one of the main entrances to the field.

We ended up in a small area off a hallway, where some highly experienced volunteers dumped a lot of information on us about how the flag ceremony is supposed to go. If I recall correctly, the flag is 30′ x 60′ and cost around $5,000. As such they were very keen that we don’t let it drag or expose it to rain. There are labelled handles all the way around the outside and we were assigned spots, and taught the particular way to hold the flag before unfurling it.

Myself, another cancer patient and two volunteers from CancerCare Manitoba were placed at one end of the flag, so we were sort of the head of the dragon as we marched the flag back through the hallways, past the big entrance to the field, and toward a smaller one. We stopped and waited in order to let the Toronto Argonauts pass very nearby and get to their change rooms; one staff member informed us, being the closest people to the passing Argos, of what our dialog options were:

• “Hi”
• “Have a good game”
• [say nothing]

Mostly the players only gave us passing glances. Certainly nobody tried to engage with us, even though I did my best to smile and kinda wave at a few. What! They’re just a buncha (pretty big) guys.

Once the Argos had passed by we marched to the smaller entrance to the field and waited for some pre-game entertainment to wrap up before we headed out. Some kids excitedly yelled to ask if that was The Flag and if they could carry it, to which I cheerfully shouted back “No! I am!”

From there we got to head onto the field, and at last we were able to pull our handles and pull the flag apart to spread it out. Fortunately the wind was calm and it was not too difficult. Then we hung out there and sang the anthem along with the designated singer, and before I knew it we were closing up shop and heading back the way we came. I was surprised at how soft the turf was, actually? Overall, what seemed complicated and very front-loaded with information was actually not too bad at all; just follow the staffers!

It was a thrilling experience and I was beaming the entire time. As always, we wish the circumstances surrounding an experience like this were better, but I’m so grateful to be healthy enough to seize a unique and fun opportunity like this.

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Tuesday is Feel Worse day, come round again. I want to hold on to these extra days of rest and remember that I won’t feel bad forever. And, I don’t want to take the ‘good’ days (like yesterday) for granted either.